For most of my life, I have suffered from addiction, depression, and low self-esteem.
In my twenties, I spent a total of 16 months in silent retreat, including a month in darkness. I travelled to Burma twice to take temporary monastic vows and practice with the monks. I did everything I could to be a “good” and happy person.
Still, I felt empty and unfulfilled. I was running away from myself, using meditation as an escape from unresolved emotional trauma. I lacked discipline and was unable to keep up a practice on my own. I constantly fell back into patterns of misery.
I was desperate.
In my longing for happiness, I finally took the plunge into my first psychedelic experience with five tabs of LSD (the recommended starting dose is ~1 tab). Wow! What a shock to my psyche. I had no idea what I was signing up for. For my whole life, I had been taught psychedelics were “dangerous” and “bad.” I wrote them off as drugs for immature people. Now, I realised how wrong I had been.
As Terrence McKenna says: “psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window, psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.”
Soon after my LSD journey, I had my first experience with magic mushrooms. It was a gentle low-dose journey with a friend, and I had rarely felt as happy as I did that night.
In the summer of 2018, after having gone through about ten high-dose journeys and witnessing the transformative power of psilocybin in my own life, I organized two sessions for my dad. Watching him go through his first psychedelic experiences opened my heart and mind to another dimension of healing. I had never felt so much compassion for my father. These experiences gave me more confidence to tripsit for others.
Truffles Therapy started out as a passion project but soon grew beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Having had the privilege to witness hundreds of people go through high-dose journeys, I feel grateful to be able to continue on this path of sharing the mushroom experience.
Two experiences shaped my childhood.
When I was 9, I took my mom’s side in her bitter divorce with my dad. I cut off contact with “the bad guy” and didn’t see or speak with my dad for 25 years.
My close friend died suddenly when I was 15 and left my heart with big question marks about death, God, and our purpose on earth. I became depressed and pessimistic. I had a nagging fear that I would lose those I loved.
While living with my mom, I was driven by fear of not being the perfect daughter. I didn’t want to cause my mom worry so I created a mental checklist for myself — be quiet (invisible when possible), study hard, go to college, get a good job, and get a steady boyfriend. I accomplished these things, but still felt incomplete.
After college, I worked for 16 years at a big organic cosmetics company. I was an efficient productive worker and my bosses and co-workers loved me. I became successful and started making a lot of money, but I knew the corporate world would never fulfill me.
After realizing how much joy yoga and meditation brought in my life, I finally mustered up the courage to leave my high-paying job and started diving deeper into my practice. I traveled to India and Southeast Asia to learn from teachers and spiritual masters.
When I had my first psilocybin journey in Thailand in March 2018, I felt I had discovered something really special. Since then, I’ve been on dozens of journeys and feel like psilocybin has helped me make peace with God and death. They’ve helped me work through deep traumas. I’ve learned to forgive myself and others. I’ve learned to have faith in something bigger than myself. Now my father and I share an amazing relationship.
Magic mushrooms have helped me connect with mother earth and higher consciousness. In my mind, mushrooms are the healers and I am their humble servant.
My life is dedicated to creating safe, caring, and loving environments so people can experience the healing powers of magic mushrooms.